New Apartment Resolutions

Filed under: chronicles Topics: , , , , , , ,

I move next month. No roommates. No compromises. What ridiculousness will come?

Since college, I’ve lived with one of my best friends from high school. It’s been fun, but he needs to move in with his girlfriend and I need my own place. Shared living space means compromises and concessions; and now, for the first time ever, I have complete freedom.

I’m excited and have begun thinking about the implications.

  1. More Nudity
    With the prospects of the roommate (or his girlfriend) arriving at any time, I found it good practice to wear pants at all times. No longer an issue, I’ll likely forgo pants around my apartment. 
  2. Less Laundry 
    More nudity also means I’ll be doing less laundry as I’ll be wearing fewer clothes. Seems logical.
  3. More Gym Time
    More nudity also means I’ll notice how out of shape I’ve become. I’ll likely go to the gym more, or spend more time on my two-cycle.
  4. More Laundry
    Frequent gym time doubles my load, so I guess I will have more laundry after all.
  5. No Cable TV
    My current roommate compulsively watches TV. (He gets antsy without the Trinitron’s warm glow.) I tend to watch shows without commercials on DVD, and entire series in one sitting. I suspect I’ll skip the Cable, Blockbuster and Netflix accounts and just buy an AppleTV. 
  6. No Stuffed Animals In The Living Room
    The only fight my roommate ever won was the stuffed animal debacle. Right now, a Mr. Snuffleupagus and a Tux penguin (holding a hand-written “NO LOAFING” sign) [dis]grace the living room. While every girl who’s ever visited the living room thought they were adorable, I still can’t stand them. At least I relegated the stuffed amoebas to the roommate’s bedroom. (Yes, he owns stuffed amoebas.)
  7. Cups Will Be Stacked Rim-Up
    When you live with someone, little lifestyle differences begin to crop up. I stack cups rim up; my roommate does rim down. I won that battle, but he still puts the silverware the wrong way in the dishwasher. (Two years and it still bothers me.)
  8. Better Music
    My roommate discovers music through Volkswagen and Apple ads. ‘Nuff said.
  9. More Home Cooking
    My roommate and I love ordering from SeamlessWeb. It’s our favorite thing. But, with a supermarket next door, I now have no excuse.

It’s like my own magical DisneyWorld. I’m too excited to sleep.

Jews, Dating, and Digits

Jews need love too– but some sure do have a funny way of going about finding it.

In Times Square hangs a huge billboard advertising JDate, a jewish-only online dating service. It’s like, but for Jews.

Singles create profiles to describe themselves, their perfect date, and what they expect out of a relationship. They include pictures, yiddish phrases, and statistics including religious denomination and astrological sign to woo potential mates. Though users are asked for a user name, many men and women opt to use their unique serial numbers, a number assigned during signup, in lieu of a name to identify themselves.

Let’s read that again.

Though users are asked for a user name, many men and women opt to use their unique serial numbers, a number assigned during signup, in lieu of a name to identify themselves.

To boot, user numbers are unique, assigned, and permanent. You’d think for a cultural group so greatly affected by the holocaust, certain members would be more aware of the irony. 

At least you can change your phone number.

Notes: The author identifies culturally as Jewish. The author is not on JDate. Friends of the author, over dinner, noted that it was hard to remember girls that used JDate-assigned numbers instead of user names. The author remarked how funny that seemed in historical contexts. Laughter ensued. Promises were made to produce a blog post. The author makes no apology.

More: Spark Networks (LOV), the parent company of JDate, uses the same technology for other niche dating sites such as aptly-named Interracial SinglesBig Beautiful Woman Personals Plus, and Indian Matrimonial Network. These names are so wonderfully descriptive.

Good People Day, Part II

Filed under: responses Topics: , , ,

There are so many people I’d like to rave on; but, to avoid an Academy Award faux pas, I’m going to keep this short. 

Extra-Big Thanks
My Parents and Family – Thank you for no longer freaking out that I’m off the beaten path.
Judith Gerberg – Thank you for validating my career.

Business Partners
Heather Lorentz, Tyler Scriven, and Eric Bowman – Thanks for rocking.

Future Partners
**** Names omitted as ventures not yet public. You know who you are. :)
**** Thank you for trusting me to work with you. 

All of Twitter
Particularly to my follows on Twitter, you’re all good people… with the exception of @micah (who’s a douche bag). Very special thanks to Laura Fitton (@pistachio) who not only introduced me to Twitter, has been a great friend all along the way.

Friends who put up with my shit more than anyone
Josh Brodie, Sara Bert, Jordyn Cosmé, Alex Bregstein, and Rana Sobhany. Especially Rana, who sought me out even after I totally dissed her when she first introduced herself to me. 


And the rest of you who don’t like to be named, much less depicted on the Internet, thank you.