An asset class called Whuffie
Welcome to USA Bank of Social Capital!
We’re glad you could come in today because we have some important information about social capital (also called whuffie) that you should know. What is social capital? Roughly speaking, social capital is the value in your personal network; and like any value, it can be traded, spent, or invested.
But, unlike other asset classes, social capital has memory. More traditional classes, like cash, are relatively expendable: lose all your cash, you’ll be mad at yourself. Lose all your social capital, your capital will be mad and it will be hard to earn back. Further, if you manage to reclaim it, it will always remember you once lost it.
Boy howdy!
Inasmuch, at USA Bank of Social Capital, we treat social capital a little bit differently: we view it almost exclusively as a hedge. In a bind, your social capital can mitigate a business or personal loss, afford you access to new opportunities, and otherwise just save your ass-*cough!*… assets. ‘Scuse me– there’s a cold going around.
But don’t misunderstand: we encourage you to trade your social capital, because trade generates wealth; share your network’s value and others will share theirs. However, be weary of egregious spending: tax your network without giving back and you’ll go broke! Remember, your social capital is only as strong as your own contributions.
As a rule, we recommend that all of our clients save their social capital and invest it appropriately. Bankrupt on cash, your social capital can save you and put you back on track. Bankrupt on social capital, you’re on your own, because here at USA Bank of Social Capital, we can’t be bought.
If you have any further questions, one of our representatives will be happy to assist you.
Thank you for choosing USA Bank of Social Capital!
What’s the equivalent of the FDIC if there’s a social capital bank failure?
Dear Riordan
Thank you for your question. There is no FDIC for any bank that trades in social capital, as these banks are hypothetical constructs not subject to any law other than social conformity as dictated by society.
Though, you might consider USA Bank of Social Capital an SRO, with a little ‘o’.
Thank you.
-UBSC
Whuffie? Not exactly how Pierre Bourdieu would define it. I bet it’s not even French, eh?
I am intrigued about the notion of capital having memory. I also like your premise of a “Bank Of Whuffie”. Thoughtful.
At first I thought this post would be a rant on the bailout of our financial industry as in “socialized capital.” Interesting post nonetheless.