I’m not explicitly examining intimacy in social media; rather, I’m using the numbers in my social media networks to explore this point: what’s the limit to our social cognition?

As for the 35,000 people, I’m sure they expect you to know that they know you, but not the other way around. You are part of that community, for sure; but, how well do you understand that community on an atomic level? You can’t know every one of those 35,000 people… so what’s the limit? Dunbar shows it’s somewhere in the 150-person range. Social media probably enables you to know more, perhaps 300 or 500; regardless, there’s a limit.

I’m more interested in thinking about the tradeoff: knowing more people versus really knowing fewer people.

I’m not interested in interviewing 6.67 people for one of my “coveted spots”, but rather, I understand that my knowing 6.67 people occupies the energy that I would otherwise give to one, more intimate relationship.

So, what’s the limit? Can you know 10 people in exchange for one intimate relationship? 20? 50? 100? I don’t know.

Additionally, what’s the effect? In our pursuit to know more people (enabled by social media or otherwise), does knowing more people implicitly dilute our intimate relationships? Corollary: does that change our benchmark for “intimate”?

We only have so much social capacity. What’s the best way to use it?

As far as I know, there’s no social media phenomena to award BFF badges or official interviews for coveted “who’s in your Top 5?” spaces on your mobile. (Though, that might be a fun thing to try!)